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negative emotions
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negative emotions
I think it's important to have a positive attitude about negative emotions. One of the problems with positive attitudes, both present and past, is that there seems to be a hidden negativity. They seem to be saying don't have negative emotions. They have a negative attitude about negative emotions. It's important that you let yourself have negative emotions.
In this case, two negatives do not make a positive. Ideally, you would manage your negative emotions with an accepting,loving, peaceful attitude. To the degree that you're parental love tank has been filled (love and support from parents) you will be successful in managing your emotions. The more unconditional love your parents have successfully gotten into your heart (you have to feel it), the more successful you will be. To the degree that it has not been filled, you will struggle to manage turbulent emotions. It is very difficult to be happy and confident in life without this love. All is not lost though, if you didn't get it. There are therapies available to help fill this love tank.                                                                                     
There are 12 basic negative emotions. They are as follows;
sadness,disappointment, hurt
jealousy,frustration, anger
worry, fear, panic
sorrow, embarrassment, shame
John Gray teaches a method (feeling letters) to use the negative emotions to come back to the true self, which is loving, joyful, peaceful and confident, because that is the nature of who we really are. When we have negative emotions, we are still connected to the true self, but it is the experience of moving away from center. Feeling and releasing negative emotions clears the way to fill up our "love tanks".
this is an excerpt from John Gray's book
"How to Get What You Want and Want What You Have"
Process your feelings
Processing your feelings means identifying your negative emotions and releasing them by getting in touch with your underlying desires and positive feelings. Processing negative emotions is using them to come back to the true self.
One way to imagine the usefulness of negative emotions is to think of life as a process of riding a bike. To keep balance we are constantly making adjustments from left to right. To get where we want to go, we need to move the handlebar. Getting in touch with your true wants is like moving the handlebar to guide you. Feeling and releasing negative emotions is what keeps you from falling over. Regular meditation  and asking for God's help gives you the power to move ahead. Meditation is moving the pedals up and down, around and around.
Unless we process our negative feelings, we will still be falling over all the time. Balance is achieved by regularly going off center and then coming back. Wiggling from side to side is the process of sustaining balance. In the beginning, this wiggling is very dramatic, and quite often we fall over and have to start again. As we get the hang of it, we learn gracefully to make small adjustments to keep our balance.
Going off balance is exactly similar to a negative emotion. You are still connected to the self, but you are moving away. A pure emotion is always connected to the true self, but it is a symptom that we are disconnecting. It is more than just a warning signal that we need to come back to balance; it is the experience of moving away from center.
The only way we can keep balance on a bike is to notice when we are moving off center to the left or right. When we move to the left, we need to move back to the right to find balance and then back to the left and then back to the right. In this process of back and forth, we find our balance again. Likewise in the process of living. For the soul to interact with the world, there is a balancing process. When we move off center to the left, a negative emotion comes up. As we let go of that movement and return to center, we move the other way, and another negative emotion emerges. Once again, by feeling the next negative emotion, we realize we are moving too far to the right, and we adjust that movement to come back to center.
Imagine how difficult it would be to ride a bike if you could move only to the right. It would be impossible to find balance. When people suppress certain feelings and only allow others, they cannot find balance. It is the back and forth movement that allows us to find balance.
After we get back to center, we can stay there awhile. Then the whole process starts over.
With a bike, we don't always expect to be in perfect balance. It is enough to just stay upright and experience a smooth graceful ride. We don't always expect to be in the center, and we know how to find center. When it comes to negative emotions, we mistakenly assume that to stay balanced in our center or true self we should never feel pain or negative emotions. We resist the process because we don't know how to deal with our negative emotions to find balance again.
As you get better at riding, keeping your balance is practically automatic. In a similar way, as you learn to process your negative emotions, it will become an effortless part of your life. To experience the richness and fullness of life you have to stay in touch with your emotions-all your emotions. Through staying in touch with your feelings you can fully enjoy the richness of life's simple pleasures. You enjoy the wind on your face, the warmth of the sun,  the freshness of spring, the coolness of autumn, the joy of dressing up a child at Halloween, the love shared between friends, the pleasure and excitement of romance, the exhilaration of learning something new, the thrill and pride of accomplishment, and the ecstacy of drawing in expressing God's gift in the world through service.