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gratitude
 
gratitude is one of the most powerful positve emotions...
 
these next 2 paragraphs are from a recent secret scrolls e-mail...I've paraphrased it....
 
There is a difference between feeling gratitude and appreciation for something, and feeling attachment to something. Appreciation and gratitude are states of pure love, while attachment contains fear- fear of not getting what you want or fear of losing what you have. When it comes to something you want in your life, appreciation and gratitude attracts, and attachment pushes away. If you are feeling afraid that you will not get what you want or lose what you have, then you have attachment.
 
To ,remove the attachment, keep shifting yourself into a state of appreciation and gratitude, until you can feel the fear is gone. This is essentially giving yourself love to diminish the fear. Another way of giving yourself love is thru feeling letters.
 
The content in this next paragraph is from one of Dr. David Hawkins books...I've paraphrased it...
 
In healthy infant developement, the loving mother (lots of holding the baby with a loving feeling and loving sounds is essential) is absorbed into the baby's heart and mind, body and soul. This sets the child up for success later in life. They have the ability to love themselves and others (and their hearts are open to receiving love). The ability to love oneself and others comes naturally to them, much like driving a car comes naturally to someone who has learned to ride a bike first. The love starved child does not have these abilities. They are dominated by their negative emotions. Though it's possible to learn to love oneself, it may never come naturally to this person. Perhaps thru lots of therapy or coaching, it might happen. Therapy and coaching are forms of love. Without this ability to love oneself and others, we attach to our desires, which effectively pushes them away ( the well loved child is not so attached to their desires- if they don't get what they want, it's not so devastating...they can roll with it...and their fears that they are not going to get what they need are not so overwhelming ). In this way, the love starved child is set up for failure, both in outer success, and inner success (feeling love, joy, confidence, and peace). To give yourself this love as an adult, it's necessary to focus on filling up the first 2 love tanks, the spiritual and the parental love tanks.   
 
I've recently come to understand gratitude in a very real way. Perhaps, rather than think of it as a place or state of mind you go to, it is more helpful to think of it as something you do. A way of loving yourself as well as what's in your life. In the presence of love, fear diminishes.
 
Sometimes, from the day we are born, we are taught to suppress out desires and feelings. To go for what we want is considered selfish. To even want it is considered selfish.
 
A loving parent recognizes and nurtures a child's desires. This allows the child to form a clear idea of who they are. Without a loving parent, we go thru life as strangers to ourselves. To go thru life clueless invites alot of pain. When parents are too clueless and too proud to see that the way they are doing things is not loving, the child is denied the love he or she needs. In the absense of love, there is fear, and shame. 
 
When this happens, a deep attachment to desires forms, and effectively pushes away almost everything the child wants and needs. It may be almost completely unconcious.
 
The experience of the child is that their desires and needs are not honored, so the fear that they will not get what they want and need would seem to be reality. A child is too young, too limited in experience to see that they may get the love they need later in life. That they may learn to give it to themselves. In fact, many adults don't see this.
 
When we are adults with that experience as a child, perhaps the best way we can love ourselves is to feel gratitude for our desires. To feel gratitude for the pain of not getting what we want and need. On the surface, that would seem not to make sense. It doesn't seem rational to feel gratitude for pain. Perhaps on the spiritual level it does make sense. To feel gratitude for the pain and your desires is to love yourself unconditionally. To limit yourself to the rational limits you to conditional love, which has much less power to heal. On the spiritual level, unconditional love (divine love) is unlimited, and has the power to heal any pain, no matter how undeserved, or deserved it is. But our hearts have to be open to it.